If you would have told me five years ago that things would be as they are now, I would have scoffed. Never would I have imagined the life changes that have occurred in the past two years. Sure, in the scheme of family life, the kids grow older, go to college, move away while time moves us along as they begin to move forward to form their lives and their futures. Some of those life changing events brought me to the darkest period of my life thus far. My kids mean the world to me, and not being around them much due to the inevitable “growing up” has been a tough adjustment for this recently divorced father.
Yesterday I had one of those moments where emotion takes you down fast. Being the end of the semester, dad duties include picking up no longer needed furniture for the move back home for summer. The boys and I borrowed my sister’s land yacht of an SUV to pick up the items, too large for a car, from my daughter’s apartment. We laughed and teased each other as we made trips back and forth from the apartment to the vehicle. Those moments made my heart swell with happiness to see all three of my children smile and laugh and interact in their inheirent sibling relationship. How utterly amazing to see what fine young people they are becoming. How I miss those times when we were all home together.
We all went for dinner at “Five Guys” before the boys and I headed home, leaving the daughter to enjoy her last few nights of college life before her friends all leave for the summer. Her social calendar is full as usual and can only imagine the antics she and her friends enjoy. I love hearing her stories about their times together, makes me long for the carefree, simpler times I spent back in undergrad, but alas, time marches on.
Driving back home, with my two boys was both joyous and sad at the same time. Riding home in the dark, silent tears of joy fell down my cheeks as I remembered how much I miss seeing them every day and extremely sad for not wanting our time to end. Joyous because we laughed together and sang together in the car to those songs made famous in the 70’s and 80’s by those one named bands. Bursting with pride and awe as the youngest sings EVERY word to “Piano Man” by Billy Joel. They all three love “my music” as well as their own choices. Joyous because both of the boys and daughter have beautiful voices and sing like angels even though they will deny their talent. Joyous in the fact of their comedic timing my children continue to entertain myself and and share with others. They never cease to dumfound me with their quick wit and humor with what seems so effortless to them. How blessed I am to have children that are part of my genetics. I see so much of family in each of them. I only hope that they catch a glimpse of how special they are, how amazing each of their personalities are. How blessed I am to be allowed to be their father. Hope and pray they know how much this sentimental “old man” loves them no matter what.